The Book: Cassette From My Ex Stories and Soundtracks of Lost Loves
Editor: Jason Bitner
Design by: Lissi Erwin
Here’s a post from the past that resurfaced accidentally as I was fumbling around with my list of posts in draft mode. Apologies for the duplicate emails for those who subscribe! Just for clarification, I kept a blog with another provider and wrote under Grandma’s name originally. I guess I’m not nearly as self-conscious anymore as I am “myself,” (ie: no pen name) here on WordPress. This post feels like it represents another life…and yet it was only a year or so ago.
I have this thing about things. Ever since I was a kid, I’d periodically purge my possessions. Felt cathartic to ransack my closet and dispose of objects & clutter. Free space feels like a fresh start. So out the door would fly honor roll certificates, pez dispensers, letters and yes…sadly mixed tapes. I had a glut of tapes I’d mix. Even made up a record label: Back Porch Productions (yes, that’s how dorky I roll). These compilations were often gifted (unfortunately for the intended, I’m sure). I always made myself a copy since I had that cutting edge technology at my fingertips ala double decker boom box. Could care less about the certificates or art projects or even the pictures (my memories are better anyway) that hit the landfill but the mix tapes…those are what I really wish I still had. The handmade artwork, the sentiment, that hissing sound the magnetic tape makes as it labors through a revolution. I can vaguely remember Siouxsie and the Banshees: Christine the Strawberry Girl, The B-52s: Dirty Back Road, The Church: Reptile….and then there was that other mix of music. The one that I thought would bring him back…which is funny because I was the dumper, not the dumpee but I was the one with the broken heart. He was so damaged and dangerous…I wanted to save him and walking away killed me but I had to do it. This was much later than pez dispensers and honor roll certificates. This was circa 1996-ish, undergrad:
Fire & Rain-James Taylor
Ice Cream-Sarah McLaughlin
Drown-Smashing Pumpkins
You Were Meant for Me-Jewel (so sappy…shoot me!)
Stay With Me-Shakespeare’s Sister
The Promise-Tracy Chapman (still love these lyrics see below)
Angel Dream-Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Nothing Lasts-Matthew Sweet
That’s all I can remember…but I know there was more to this lovesick mix. All this came flooding back to me as I thumbed through the book Cassette From My Ex: Stories and Soundtracks of Lost Loves edited by Jason Bitner. Reads like a scrapbook of intimate journal entries on love and music from 60 writers and musicians. An absolutely brilliant keepsake for any music nerd. One prized possession that will never reach the landfill.
